Blue Ruin
If you don't have anything nice to say, come sit by me. - Dorothy Parker
August 08, 2007
Reasons Why Mp3 Blogs Annoy Me
I'm paraphrasing here. Barely.
1. "Wow, where have I been? I had no idea that Neko Case was such a gifted performer! I always thought of her as that hot indie chick from Canada or wherever who posed for pictures in a see-through shirt. But yesterday I took a break from whacking off to listen to one of her albums, and boy was I surprised! Who knew that redheads with great racks could sing and play guitar? Today I am sharing this important discovery with you, humble readers. Now I am off to find out if any of the other hot chick singers I jerk off to are any good at music."
2. "Today, we here at Pun On A Radiohead Song Title bring you this exclusive track from the not-yet-released album everyone's talking about. When I say we, I mean my bittorent program and I. And by exclusive, I mean available to anyone who knows how to use bittorrent. I really don't give a shit about this band, but I keep reading about them on all the other mp3 blogs, so there must be some good reason they're getting all this hype. Anyway, posting this track is sure to increase my traffic and get me linked all over the place. You're probably all impressed by my connections in the music business. Well, you should be. Now hurry up and download this song before the record label sends me a cease and desist notice."
ThePretentiousBedWetters-Whataletdown.mp3 song removed
3. Everyone's blogging about Amy Winehouse so I felt the need to post this track so I, too, could comment on her alcohol problem, her eating disorder, and her similarity to Lily Allen, another British women who swears in her song lyrics and drinks alcohol. This track is taken from Amy's new doo-wop album, Back to Black. I call it doo-wop because it sounds like that music from the sixties that Phil Spector made for those Motown singers. And because I wouldn't know soul music from a hole in the wall."
4. "Here are a couple of tunes by an amazing singer-songwriter I've been listening to lately. She writes well-crafted songs with insightful lyrics and I highly recommend her album to people who like Bob Dylan and Joni Mitchell. If she had a penis and her first name were Sufjan I would probably name my blog after her, but this post is filed under 'guilty pleasures', because seriously, I'm not running a Lilith Fair blog here."
1. "Wow, where have I been? I had no idea that Neko Case was such a gifted performer! I always thought of her as that hot indie chick from Canada or wherever who posed for pictures in a see-through shirt. But yesterday I took a break from whacking off to listen to one of her albums, and boy was I surprised! Who knew that redheads with great racks could sing and play guitar? Today I am sharing this important discovery with you, humble readers. Now I am off to find out if any of the other hot chick singers I jerk off to are any good at music."
2. "Today, we here at Pun On A Radiohead Song Title bring you this exclusive track from the not-yet-released album everyone's talking about. When I say we, I mean my bittorent program and I. And by exclusive, I mean available to anyone who knows how to use bittorrent. I really don't give a shit about this band, but I keep reading about them on all the other mp3 blogs, so there must be some good reason they're getting all this hype. Anyway, posting this track is sure to increase my traffic and get me linked all over the place. You're probably all impressed by my connections in the music business. Well, you should be. Now hurry up and download this song before the record label sends me a cease and desist notice."
3. Everyone's blogging about Amy Winehouse so I felt the need to post this track so I, too, could comment on her alcohol problem, her eating disorder, and her similarity to Lily Allen, another British women who swears in her song lyrics and drinks alcohol. This track is taken from Amy's new doo-wop album, Back to Black. I call it doo-wop because it sounds like that music from the sixties that Phil Spector made for those Motown singers. And because I wouldn't know soul music from a hole in the wall."
4. "Here are a couple of tunes by an amazing singer-songwriter I've been listening to lately. She writes well-crafted songs with insightful lyrics and I highly recommend her album to people who like Bob Dylan and Joni Mitchell. If she had a penis and her first name were Sufjan I would probably name my blog after her, but this post is filed under 'guilty pleasures', because seriously, I'm not running a Lilith Fair blog here."
Labels: what kind of fuckery is this?
posted by Lux |
